I wanted to write something before the day ends.

I had a dream - a really bad one. It woke me up around 7:30am. I was at a mall with my best friend at a really late time. I told him I can't stay but he insists that I should go with him anyways. I was also wondering why my dad didn't call me to go home. So I went around and then I went somewhere to grab some food. I somehow had a bunch of stuff with me too so I tried to stuff everything together but I had 3 luggages left lying around. I ordered a hot dog. Then I continued to stuff in more stuff. I left the place temporarily to call my dad and he told me to come home. He didn't sound mad or anything. So I went back in to the food place and it was deserted. My stuff was gone but the lights were still on. The lights looked blue because the walls were blue tiled. Then i looked some shadowy figure at the corner. That corner was a door and a person who's long hair was in her face and was wearing black. Her skin was also blueish. It was probably because of the lights. I turned away and looked at the same place again and this time she stared at me. Before I knew, she started to chase me and I ran as fast as I could. I ran towards a dead end. It was a 3 story jump. The weird thing is the place looks like the one where I look out from my window. She finally caught up; I opened the see through door and I jumped out. Then I woke up feeling scared.

I went back to sleep knowing that it was still early. Also my left eye barely opened. I had another dream but I forgot what it was as the day progressed.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

I'm back to my little mishaps again. Thinking too much and anxious about the year 2010. It's the year I graduate. But before that, I will be a senior in high school. As a senior in high school I will think up last minute decisions. Some possibilites are... Actually grabbing an internship at a game company or computer company in general and shoving it to my parents saying "I'm gonna become this and that's final. Don't stop me." then again, thanks for my sense of understanding of minding other people's feelings I might not do that. On the year 2010, is also suppose to be the year where my parents take me to S.Korea as a reward for finishing high school. Thats when I can grab my chance to get big, if I'm lucky. Real lucky. But then my luck went down, again, when my mom told me 2010
Is her unlucky year. Soo.. I'm getting older by the day. The industry doesn't want old people. I can't get to a nearby audition since it's in new york, the closet place to me. And my only chance is delayed by 2 years. So what. I would be 20 by then. Let me get this life over wih so I don't feel utterly useless.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Ahhhhhhh. I wanna get out of here. I want try some korean cold noodles. That's what naeng myeon means. It is also SNSD's Jessica song for this variety show called Infinity Challenge which Korean music experts are so angry about. The song is very cute. A comparison of cold noodles to love at first sight but it's mostly on the noodles. Plus it's catchy.

Work today was so-so. One guy needs to seriously not play around or flirt or whatever too much. He gained two enemies because of that. I hate being in the same position as them...of course, seniority rules but not at my workplace. It's not even based on skills. We're all one big family except the obvious heirarchy and tyranny in the hierarchy.

When I got home I was already bothered by some stuff. So I had to help of course and then I felt tired out and didn't eat till really late and haven't even bothered doing history yet. Luckily, I get to go to work at 2 pm...so I hope to accompish something such as doing some homework. Since I heard someone finished his already, I went into competitive mode sorta.

I temporarily grew an inch and then it disappeared. Bummer. I guess I'm actually stuck at this height forever.

Next year, my mom wants to take me to S.Korea for the summer as a present for graduating high school but we can't go anymore since 2010 is her unlucky year. Asian superstitions... I actually saw it came true though. A very scary experience but it didn't happen to me yet.

I think I'm gonna go shower after listening to the song and kara's Wanna. I knew this song is gonna be good. Some parts of it reminds me of their other song Same Heart. It is by the same composer anyways. I also pre-ordered their album to support them plus after seeing DSP's statement about not illegally downloading their music because they actually worked hard on this album, sooo I decided to buy it.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Today I just woke up at 10am from a dream and then a nightmare. It all consisted of of recent events and family, friends and work.

The first one is me being at someone's house with my sister and brother. It felt like it was the extended part of the house I haven't been before and it was my brother's wife's friend's house that I went to at Connecticut. I remember yelling at a little girl for swearing and being rude. I was in a small competition with her because she also had my stuff but refused to give it back. Then her mom told to me just leave her alone. Suddenly some visitors came in and they were my childhood friends whom I haven't seen in a long time. I asked how was their oldest sister since she didn't come over either and such. It was the same them. The same ones before I left the area to move somewhere else in Boston.

Next I was in an army training session with other teenagers. I was with a friend I don't even talk to. We were given equipment; specifically a cap and a jacket. I was settled on being a sniper because that's what I prefer playing as in video games anyway. Everybody else got different equipment. The other half wore no equipment and were considered to be targets. We were at the weapons area to talk about how this is like an actual simulation of war. Then my friend asked if she can take pictures of the action instead, since she's a photographer. The commander said only if she ranks the highest in this match. Then we proceeded outside until I saw my other friends and they had a huge ball they were playing with. So I thought what the hell is this. The field space was so limited and it looked like we're playing kickball instead. But there were trees surrounding the area.

Lastly, it was a nightmare and actually woke me up. So I went to the nail salon my guy friend worked at but it was empty. However i saw my guy friend's back and carried a box out, walking past me. Then I saw a friend from work, the staff, going towards a room. So I followed him. It was my sister sleeping. Then he did something to not make her talk and saw her grunting noises instead. Then he saw and pointed some white gun and pulled the trigger but it clinked. No ammo. Then I went to punch him and stuff and I pushed off. I managed to get the gun he dropped and tried shooting him again, but again no ammo. Then I ran outside and i was standing from some set of stairs and saw my boss, the guy that runs my workplace. I told him what was happening and he said he couldn't believe because he wouldn't do such a thing. I couldn't believe it either. Then I heard a very loud scream. It was this kind of scream where you can take any pain and feel helpless. So I ran back and saw him hugging her and something ball like on top of both of her eyes. And he was wearing a bikini for some odd reason. And he saw me and got off of her and tried to run off. There I see my sister still screaming while sitting on the ground with barely no clothes on. I ran over to try to smack off one of the balls out of her eyes but it stayed there. I ran back and called someone and then I went outside to see the boss taking his sweet time to grab his stuff as if nothing was happening and then 4 guys in white dress shirts and guns came in. They saw the guy trying to run back into the room and the 4 guys shot him dead. I saw my sister still in the same position but no screams coming out of her.

I can say all of this is related to the past events and mostly work. Yelling at someone for swearing at work; coming over to Connecticut; my feeling of competition with the guy abusing his position at work; my wishing of my childhood friends never changed for the worse; army session related to the game Sudden Attack for next week with a mix of laser tag I played for he first time; the friend I don't even talk to pops up a lot on my facebook feeds; my friends and the ball means she likes to play a lot; the jacket specifically was the sniper jacket I wanted from the army store; the screams came from the obnoxious kids from downstairs from every freaking night but it was my sister's voice in the dream; the memories of witnessing my sister being robbed years ago and couldn't do anything about it; him wearing a bikini represents him as a funny guy; the gun probably means that he won't kill me. It was weird how the interior of the nail salon was the interior of my sister's house. Then I woke up and my left arm wouldn't move when I tried to move a little.

Now it's 11.. I'm not sure if still wanna sleep. I was playing RF until 2am. I was trying to get to level 30 and then to the highest level, 50, when I get some time. I'm just recovering from where I left off when the NA servers were down. I am doing my history homework very slowly. I will start doing a lot today until I start playing RF at night.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

I just came in to another room to watch Hell's Kitchen. Now I'm thinking while Chef Ramsay is so tough except by nature and the purpose of this reality show to attract viewers.

1. It reminds of strict Asian rules (can't even talk back to the guy and must assume he is right because he is a renowned chef owning a couple of restaurants. Therefore he is more experienced than them.)
2. Perfection is needed
3. Working under pressure
4. Take massive criticism

Especially perfection and criticism.. Speaking of I haven't been mad at my dad for a long time, until now. It brings me back to the point where I remember he says he knows everything and can do anything. Big confidence with a big ego means projected arrogance. He can do it, why can't he do it himself. This saying is stuck to me mentally which is why I easily get heated when someone shows an trait of confidence or arrogance. I got those traits and then I realized it's messed up towards other people, I stopped.

This time my dad he asked me to get the speakers working and VCR working to record stuff. I started working on it after I ate, leaving my soup to cool down. I got the speakers working, at the same time complaining how he would touch random stuff and ends up "breaking" it. Then the frustration comes when I got to the VCR. I saw a white cable in the VCR already so I assumed it must be the cable. We had a comcast cable box; it had three white cable wires. When I connected it to the tv, I realized the end of the white cable is not connected to anything. So I tried to disconnect it and got frustrated since it was so hard. I asked the old man to disconnect and put the other wire in. I went back to eating my cooled down soup. Before that my mom said I wasn't done eating, my dad said yeah I am and then I said no I wasn't and waited for the soup to cool down. While he was fixing it, he had the nerve to speak his mind that he took care of me since I was little. He was done and told me to test it then I almost got out of my seat then he goes ONLY IF YOURE DONE EATING. ONLY I YOURE DONE. Like dude, I'm getting mixed messages. Did you wanna get it done immediately according to the tone of the message or until you have to yell at me not to do it yet or say yeah and ignore what you just said and wait til I finish eating? So freaking annoying. This is mainly why I hate him since forever. I helped, after eating obviously. Then when the job's done he asked me to look at something. It was some newsletter from BPS and told me that the school system from the government cares and notifies families and all that crap. The point of him saying that? People care? Like okay all of THIS over me fixing some gadgets.

I swear this freaking guy.. No wonder why his own siblings hate him, outside people dislike him and is anti-social because he can't communicate with others when it comes to conflictig ideas with people. He has no friends, etc. I feel like I'm someone's incarnation to somehow torture him. I was told that I resemble my grandmother, dad's mom. So is he getting revenge on me for something? I'm pretty sure I saw some grudge he has against his mom. How? While drunk (which is no excuse because he shouldn't been drinking anyways, he punched a pic of his mom) broke the glass, and threw it away. I should have taken the picture back but I wanted him to reflect on what happened when he's back to normal. He recalled no memory until he actually remembered... He didn't reflect on that though. Selfish of him. Talk about parents taking care of their kids so well...pfft.

Something else sucked. At work, some had to he stupid enough to point a laser, gets the supervisor mad and tells the guy go show himself, didn't when we had 5 minute chance. For one thing, none of us hired him except the woman that takes care of things and one of use had her stupid chance to take in her friends and people she likes. I'm not gonna let it happen next summer. As for my dad, I'm gonna torture him while he's still alive and I'm not gonna take back what I said about him and to him.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.